How long will I feel so grief stricken?

Q. I lost my daughter earlier this year. I know she is with our Lord Jesus and I will one day see her again but the pain and loss seems to be unbearable. I ask the Lord continually to please get me through this. How long will I feel so extremely grief stricken?

A. How long will you feel so extremely grief stricken? I don't know. For a while. You loved her and it only makes sense that you will feel that loss profoundly for a while. She's worthy of great sorrow. What is important is that you decide that you do not want to stay in this painful place forever. Sometimes as moms we actually want to stay here—because it is our grief that helps us to feel close to the child who is gone. But the day will come when you will know that you are faced with a choice—to continue to give yourself over to grief or to begin to allow grief to lessen its hold on you. I think it is tremendously unfair that we are forced to make this choice, which can feel like another letting go of our child, but that is just the way it is.

But not yet. I am quite sure there are many more tears inside that must be shed. Many questions to think through. This intense time can either lead you far away from God because you refuse to pour out those tears before him or because you are unwilling to dig into his word to find answers to your questions—or, it can lead you closer to him—so that at the other end of this grief journey you have a sense of peace and confidence in God's goodness. Oh, how I hope you will pursue God in your sorrow and that ultimately you will discover him beside you in a way you could not have known without the sorrow.