What can I do for my friends whose child is dying?

Q. I am writing with a crushed heart and spirit for my friends. Their first grandson was born about a month ago with a fatal syndrome. They have put him into God's hands now as they have taken him off all support except oxygen. Is there anything I can say or do for them that may be of some help?? My heart is aching to do something else, other than pray, pray, pray which may be the only thing left now. Please give me any advice if you can.

A. I so appreciate your heart that is breaking for these people you love.

As you pray, don't limit your prayers to asking God to do a miracle to heal this child, but pray for God to work to keep this couple's marriage strong, and for the parents and grandparents to face death with faith in God's promises.

There is really nothing you can do or say that will take away this pain except to let them know that your heart is breaking with theirs. Then, mark your calendar and on the child's birthday and deathday. Remember to send a little note letting them know this child is not forgotten.  Don't be afraid to say his name. Speak his name to them and tell them you have been thinking about him after he is gone.

You might also want to give them a copy of our book, When Your Family's Lost a Loved One later.

I think it may be even more difficult for parents to watch their child lose a child than for the parents. It was agonizing for our parents, so your awareness of their deep hurt, which will not go away quickly, will be a blessing to them.